All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Randomize
