Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
