I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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