Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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