Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
