a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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