Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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