Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i think i have two assholes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
