he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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