I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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