Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
