So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
