he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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