Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize