you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
