Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
