I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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