If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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