At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
