I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
