hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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