1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
