I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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