I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
