There was a lot of him and a little penis
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize