So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
