Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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