remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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