Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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