Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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