nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
