Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
