Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
