i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
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