I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
