It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
