Do you still have your period?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize