You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
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Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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