Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
