I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
