i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
