What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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