I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This house was built for laser tag.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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