she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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