i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
