just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize
