i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
