Betty ford says i'm here all night
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
