Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.