names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
