so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.