I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."