Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
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During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.