Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.

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  (408): Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job. http://tfl.nu/w1hi
  Replies (16) Good night (3885) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.

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  (618): I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out. http://tfl.nu/syqz
  Replies (47) Good night (567) Bad night (5109) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...

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  (631): He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now... http://tfl.nu/8b9i
  Replies (12) Good night (1586) Bad night (5898) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.

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  (206): I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before. http://tfl.nu/t0my
  Replies (21) Good night (872) Bad night (5771) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.

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  (540): Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later. http://tfl.nu/bbcr
  Replies (9) Good night (4467) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

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  (817): You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time http://tfl.nu/ixfn
  Replies (44) Good night (7197) Bad night (3895) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Quite the contrary. Sophistication.

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  (541): I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression? (815): Quite the contrary. Sophistication. http://tfl.nu/7jsx
  Replies (24) Good night (7402) Bad night (990)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.

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  (+44): It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done. http://tfl.nu/song
  Replies (12) Good night (4210) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.

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  (918): Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking. http://tfl.nu/gpcu
  Replies (4) Good night (2283) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath

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  (807): Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath http://tfl.nu/x0dh
  Replies (7) Good night (2487) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.

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  (206): Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/pnkf
  Replies (4) Good night (1897) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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  (914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj
  Replies (25) Good night (4079) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.

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  (505): He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise. http://tfl.nu/7qvp
  Replies (8) Good night (2025) Bad night (799)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that

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  (631): My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that http://tfl.nu/insc
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.

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  (423): I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror. http://tfl.nu/gj1a
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (134) Order T-Shirt

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