He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!