Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.

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(972): View more from Texas

Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.

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(425): View more from Washington

I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(778): View more from British Columbia

I woke up with glitter in my wounds.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.

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(315): View more from New York

Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes

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(989): View more from Michigan

8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.

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