i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
