You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
