Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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