Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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