he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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