is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
