Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
