we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
