Even water is tasting like jack daniels
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
