Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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